Seafarer

I'd like to believe I am open to change. That overall I am a forward thinking person ready to adapt to evolving situations and new opportunities that come my way. And generally, this is true. But when major change comes along (such as making a decision to move cross country again) or something totally new presents itself to me, the dark fear monster raises it's ugly head and nags.

"I happen to like things just the way they are," I defensively think. I've got a good thing going, why should I change it? Don't people always say the grass isn't always greener on the other side? Besides, my mother always told me the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. And thus, the cycle begins.

I'm like a toddler in a candy store refusing to leave. Internally, I'm throwing a full blown temper tantrum with arms and legs flailing at hyper speed. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs that I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! And even if someone does buy me the new Hollywood Barbie, I'm still probably not moving. So there! (followed by a literal forceful sticking out of my tongue)

Fear takes over, I begin to feel like a child, and I'm too anxious to make a move. Most of the time, my rational self comes back into the picture and has the ability to talk logic to my terrified, four-year-old self.

"Change has always been good to you," my logical self soothingly promises. "Most life changing events have been very positive and you are glad you took the leap!"

As I begrudgingly give into my rational thoughts, I realize this is true. I've embraced a lot of change over the years, and most, if not all, have actualized a positive experience. I start to remember that I do, in fact, like change. That I am ready for something new. I'm going to tackle the unknown head-on and jump with both feet first without even looking back for a split second glance!

"But things are great the way they are. Do you really think you'll get so lucky again?" doubt asks. "Or are you going to screw up the perfect balance you have going, and end up regretting this change?"

And so it continues, and sometimes much longer than I care to admit. But eventually I come around and realize that adapting to change is a process. I am definitely open to it, albeit in a highly guarded fashion, and I understand the importance of evolving. Getting stuck is far more terrifying than trying something new.

So with the help of my ever-loving, patient husband and my good natured, opinionated parents, I'm usually able to navigate the rough seas of change. Not only do they make the process so much more enjoyable, but they help me appreciate the positive impact it has on my life afterwards.